Happy New Year!

I always knew we had some incredible people in our lives, but let me tell you we have some really truly amazing people in our lives. As the New Year approaches I am reflecting back on everything that has happened and changed in our lives. This year has been amazing and difficult all at the same time. Through it all we have been supported by our amazing friends and family. So many people have helped us in ways that we could never repay or thank enough. We have received some very generous donations towards Grayden's fund and we are truly blown away by the kindness. To those of you that have purchased hats and those of you who have donated THANK YOU! Those words just don't seem adequate. Also, I have to give a big THANK YOU to all of you that have helped us over the past year. To watching our boys (Zander and Cohen), to coming to Philly to help out, to restoring, painting, and rearranging, to organizing and packing, and just for helping us keep it all together, we could never say thanks enough. To all of our old friends and to our new friends that we have met along the way, we cherish each and every one of you. Although we would never choose this diagnosis for our little Gray, we surely have met some incredible people along the way that will hopefully become lifelong friends. We have also had the opportunity to spend some true quality time with people nearest and dearest to us. As I have said before our boys are the luckiest boys in the world to be surrounded and supported by such amazing grandparents, aunts, uncles, and friends.

Wow, so much has changed in the last 4 years since Austin and I were first saying our "I do's". We wish you all a very happy New Year and many great memories to come!!

Much Love and many thanks!!
Austin, Kelly, Zander, Grayden Goff
and Cohen too!

Happy Holidays to All!!

Christmas Lights Parade in downtown Zeeland

As is seems to go each year, the holidays are here before we know it, and we have had little time to prepare. Austin and I always seem to embark on a remodeling project right before Christmas, which leaves us little to no time to focus on decorating for the holidays. This year, Austin has decided to remodel our downstairs bathroom to make it more appealing to the buyers that will hopefully soon be buying our home. So once again in the Goff house we are left with only a small 2 foot tall tree and a few decorations. I had every intention of buying a big one this year, but unfortunately that did not happen. Maybe next year!

We have had a little time to enjoy the holiday season however. Zander and I recently went to the Christmas Lights parade in downton Zeeland with our good friends, The Shafers. We had a great time and we both decided it will have to be an annual tradition. We also had an opportunity to attend the West Michigan Spina Bifida Association's Annual Christmas party. We enjoyed the chance to meet other families in the community as well as chat with some of our new friends who we have met over the past year. Santa even made an appearance and both boys got a chance to sit on his lap and receive their first gifts of the season. Zander was not as thrilled this year to meet Santa, so I got to sit on his lap too!

We are looking forward to another great holiday season spending more time with our family and friends. Maybe someday I will get my act together and get our family a Christmas tree and send out those Christmas cards that I keep saying every year that I am going to do. And in the meantime I will continue spending time with my boys soaking up every minute of the two weeks I get to spend with them!!

Trying

So I sit here tonight staring at my beautiful baby boy trying to hold it together, trying not to panic, and trying not to jump ahead of myself. We have known that a shunt would be a possibility since we were initially given Grayden's diagnosis, and we have tried to mentally prepare ourselves for the time that we would be told he may need one. Honestly I don't think I will ever be ready or okay with it. Grayden had his monthly head ultra sound and neurosurgeon appointment today. His ventricles have enlarged and something called the resistive factor has also increased, both indicating that Grayden may be in need of a shunt in the very near future. The neurosurgeon is giving him one more month, and at the next appointment based on what he sees, he will decide if a shunt is necessary. I know that if Grayden needs a shunt, then he needs it, and it will save his life; however I am freaking out at the thought of him having to have one.

I sit here staring at my precious baby, wanting to protect him, wanting him to be free of all of this and sincerely hoping somehow we will avoid the need for a shunt.

Really in need of some positive thoughts today and for the next month.

Thank you for those of you who have ordered hats from me and my mom. We are looking forward to starting therapy with Grayden in the very near future!!
www.gearforgrayden.blogspot.com