It's hard to believe that Kinsen is three months old already. He has definately been my baby that loves to be held. He is not yet on a consistent daytime schedule, but is my best night sleeper. He started sleeping for 8 hour stretches about a month ago! Kinsen is well loved by his older brothers and gets more smiley everyday! He fits our family so well and makes us feel so complete!
Kinsen Wiley Goff made his arrival into our family one week ago today on June 12, 2014 at 1:41pm. He weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces. He was born at one day shy of 38 weeks on the day of his scheduled delivery! We were scheduled for a 3pm c-section; however the hospital called us around 11 and asked if we could arrive early because they were available sooner than expected. I was pretty nervous about the c-section, but everything went well, and Dr. LaGrand said that my scars looked great. We spent two nights at the hospital while my mom and Jeff took the older boys to their house. We came home with Kinsen on Saturday and the boys joined us on Sunday.
I am loving every minute of this newborn stage and trying to soak it all in, as Kinsen will probably be our last baby.
As for the big brothers....
Zander had been looking forward to becoming a big brother for a second time since we told him we were having a baby. He made the sweetest card for Kinsen to bring to the hospital and also one for Dr. LaGrand telling him thank you for taking such good care of us. Zander had asked a lot of very specific questions about the birth throughout my pregnancy and the morning of, he told me at breakfast that he was worried about me. He has such a sweet heart and is definitely the protector of both of his little brothers. He tolerates and accommodates so much and sometimes I think even too much. He has been so conscientious of Kinsen, trying to be super quiet if he is sleeping and letting me know as soon as he makes a peep that he needs me.
Grayden has totally shocked me on how he has responded to Kinsen. Prior to his birth he would tell everyone and anyone that he did not want a little brother and that I was not going to be allowed to hold Kinsen because I could only hold him. I was very worried about how he was going to adjust to it all. The few times we were around infants he acted horrible and didn't want me to even look at the babies. To my surprise, Grayden has been great about Kinsen! He was a little hesitant at the hospital to pay him too much attention and spent a lot of time by my side holding my hand and avoiding Kinsen all together, but since we have been home he has been so interested in him. He is constantly wanting to kiss him and wanting to help with things. He will also tell me the minute he makes a peep that I need to pick him up. He is also full of questions about Kinsen.
I am loving our family of five! This past week has been great. My only wish is that both parents could take maternity leave because having Austin home this week has made the transition much easier. I am not looking forward to him returning to work next week.
99 percent of the time I do not even think about Spina Bifida. It doesn't cross my mind and most days, parenting Grayden is no different than parenting Zander. Don't get me wrong, parenting in general is hard and is definatly a learning curve, but the same things that I worry about for Zander, apply to Grayden. But some days, out of nowhere the wind is taken out of our sails and we are forced to have to think about SB and decide how to navigate. We are forced to have to pull out our roadmaps, consult with our friends, and put on our advocate hats. Friday was one of those days.
I have to start by saying that growing up, I was never good with things not being fair, mostly if it had to do with my sister. Maybe it was a second born thing, but I hated it when things didn't feel or seem fair. I thought that I had gotten better with the whole idea of "sometimes life isn't fair", and that I had matured over the years, but now that something doesn't seem fair for my child, well it just plain sucks!
We are beginning to plan for next school year regarding who will be going to school where, and who will be watching Kinsen and when. My mom is retiring and has offered to watch Kinsen and Gray two days a week, which means we need to find care for them the other three days a week. One of our neighbors has offered to watch Kinsen and I was hoping to find a three day a week, all day preschool for Grayden (which is very difficult to find, as most preschools do not design their time around two working parents' schedules). I found out yesterday that the preschool that Zander has been going to since January has openings now in their three day program, so I was relieved to think that we had found our solution, until I found out that they were not willing to accept Grayden, because he does not meet their requirement to be potty trained. And to this I say "It's just not fair"! It's not fair that they can not allow him access to their program over something that he has no control over, something that we are working on, but is going to take time and problem solving.
So now I sit here trying to decide, do I fight and advocate or do I decide I don't want him there if they are not even willing to consider how they could accommodate for him?
The good news is, I love the childcare program at my school, where Grayden currently attends. His teachers are amazing and Grayden LOVES it there. He can stay there until he goes to Kindergarten, but they don't do part time care (we would pay for full time, even if he only goes three days), and the majority of the kids are between 2 and 3 years old, so I was hoping to eventually give him a preschool type experience with older kids before he goes to Kindergarten.
I am mad, sad and frustrated! I am sad for Grayden that he doesn't have the same options as Zander did for preschool! I am mad that it feels like he is being discriminated against! And I am frustrated that to even possibly get him those opportunities that I will have to advocate and fight and spend extra time. Of course, I am willing to, and I would travel to the moon and back for my kids, but sometimes it is just plain exhausting to think about! And mostly, it just doesn't seem fair, and I am just not okay with that!
After 8 months of going back and forth with our insurance, we finally picked up Grayden's new wheels today! We are so excited!
Austin and I decided last summer that we would start the process of getting Grayden some wheels. After many chats with my great friends who share this journey with me, we decided to go forward sooner than later.
We want Grayden to view the chair as one option or variation for how he can navigate his world. We want him to view it as a positive option that allows him choices. Basically, we just want him to know that no matter how he chooses to get around, that we are completely okay with it. We envision that he may choose to use his wheels for long distances, keeping up with friends, and maybe even sports. Ultimately, Gray will figure it out as he goes with what works best for him.
I am a mom to an amazing little guy who brightens my day and a wife to the best husband I could have ever asked for. We are expecting another baby boy, Grayden in the fall of 2010 and recently found out that he has Spina Bifida. Since that time we decided to participate in the MOMS trial and undergo prenatal surgery to repair the lesion on his back. This is our journey as we experience the joys of becoming and being parents to two little boys.