Kinsen Wiley Goff

Kinsen Wiley Goff made his arrival into our family one week ago today on June 12, 2014 at 1:41pm.  He weighed 7 pounds 9 ounces.  He was born at one day shy of 38 weeks on the day of his scheduled delivery!  We were scheduled for a 3pm c-section; however the hospital called us around 11 and asked if we could arrive early because they were available sooner than expected.  I was pretty nervous about the c-section, but everything went well, and Dr. LaGrand said that my scars looked great.  We spent two nights at the hospital while my mom and Jeff took the older boys to their house.  We came home with Kinsen on Saturday and the boys joined us on Sunday.

I am loving every minute of this newborn stage and trying to soak it all in, as Kinsen will probably be our last baby.

As for the big brothers....

Zander had been looking forward to becoming a big brother for a second time since we told him we were having a baby.  He made the sweetest card for Kinsen to bring to the hospital and also one for Dr. LaGrand telling him thank you for taking such good care of us.  Zander had asked a lot of very specific questions about the birth throughout my pregnancy and the morning of, he told me at breakfast that he was worried about me.  He has such a sweet heart and is definitely the protector of both of his little brothers.  He tolerates and accommodates so much and sometimes I think even too much.  He has been so conscientious of Kinsen, trying to be super quiet if he is sleeping and letting me know as soon as he makes a peep that he needs me. 

Grayden has totally shocked me on how he has responded to Kinsen.  Prior to his birth he would tell everyone and anyone that he did not want a little brother and that I was not going to be allowed to hold Kinsen because I could only hold him.  I was very worried about how he was going to adjust to it all.  The few times we were around infants he acted horrible and didn't want me to even look at the babies.  To my surprise, Grayden has been great about Kinsen!  He was a little hesitant at the hospital to pay him too much attention and spent a lot of time by my side holding my hand and avoiding Kinsen all together, but since we have been home he has been so interested in him.  He is constantly wanting to kiss him and wanting to help with things.  He will also tell me the minute he makes a peep that I need to pick him up.  He is also full of questions about Kinsen.

I am loving our family of five!  This past week has been great.  My only wish is that both parents could take maternity leave because having Austin home this week has made the transition much easier.  I am not looking forward to him returning to work next week.

Fair

99 percent of the time I do not even think about Spina Bifida.  It doesn't cross my mind and most days, parenting Grayden is no different than parenting Zander.  Don't get me wrong, parenting in general is hard and is definatly a learning curve, but the same things that I worry about for Zander, apply to Grayden.  But some days, out of nowhere the wind is taken out of our sails and we are forced to have to think about SB and decide how to navigate. We are forced to have to pull out our roadmaps, consult with our friends, and put on our advocate hats.  Friday was one of those days.

I have to start by saying that growing up, I was never good with things not being fair, mostly if it had to do with my sister. Maybe it was a second born thing, but I hated it when things didn't feel or seem fair.  I thought that I had gotten better with the whole idea of "sometimes life isn't fair", and that I had matured over the years, but now that something doesn't seem fair for my child, well it just plain sucks!

We are beginning to plan for next school year regarding who will be going to school where, and who will be watching Kinsen and when.  My mom is retiring and has offered to watch Kinsen and Gray two days a week, which means we need to find care for them the other three days a week.  One of our neighbors has offered to watch Kinsen and I was hoping to find a three day a week, all day preschool for Grayden (which is very difficult to find, as most preschools do not design their time around two working parents' schedules).  I found out yesterday that the preschool that Zander has been going to since January has openings now in their three day program, so I was relieved to think that we had found our solution, until I found out that they were not willing to accept Grayden, because he does not meet their requirement to be potty trained.  And to this I say "It's just not fair"! It's not fair that they can not allow him access to their program over something that he has no control over, something that we are working on, but is going to take time and problem solving.

So now I sit here trying to decide, do I fight and advocate or do I decide I don't want him there if they are not even willing to consider how they could accommodate for him?

The good news is, I love the childcare program at my school, where Grayden currently attends. His teachers are amazing and Grayden LOVES it there.  He can stay there until he goes to Kindergarten, but they don't do part time care (we would pay for full time, even if he only goes three days), and the majority of the kids are between 2 and 3 years old, so I was hoping to eventually give him a preschool type experience with older kids before he goes to Kindergarten.

I am mad, sad and frustrated! I am sad for Grayden that he doesn't have the same options as Zander did for preschool! I am mad that it feels like he is being discriminated against! And I am frustrated that to even possibly get him those opportunities that I will have to advocate and fight and spend extra time. Of course, I am willing to, and I would travel to the moon and back for my kids, but sometimes it is just plain exhausting to think about! And mostly, it just doesn't seem fair, and I am just not okay with that!

Grayden's Wheels

After 8 months of going back and forth with our insurance, we finally picked up Grayden's new wheels today! We are so excited!

Austin and I decided last summer that we would start the process of getting Grayden some wheels. After many chats with my great friends who share this journey with me, we decided to go forward sooner than later.

We want Grayden to view the chair as one option or variation for how he can navigate his world. We want him to view it as a positive option that allows him choices. Basically, we just want him to know that no matter how he chooses to get around, that we are completely okay with it. We envision that he may choose to use his wheels for long distances, keeping up with friends, and maybe even sports. Ultimately, Gray will figure it out as he goes with what works best for him.

Merry Christmas

MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM OUR FAMILY TO YOURS!!

Every year I tell myself that I am going to send out Christmas cards, but I never seem to be able to get them out.  I do really love receiving Cards and Christmas letters from all of our friends and family, so I thought I would do a close second and give a little blog update.

Grayden continues to amaze us every day.  He is still attending the child care program at my school and loving all of his friends and teachers there.  He also continues to work with Ms. Rene for his ABM lessons monthly. .Grayden lights up any room that he walks into and loves to be the center of attention.  He loves music and dancing and tagging along with his big brother Zander who he loves and adores. He is also showing us his strong independence as a three year old and his ability to test our patience daily:)  Grayden has some big changes this year, as he will be starting the new year without his brother in his classroom as well as becoming a Big Brother this summer!  We are also excited to watch him as he learns to downhill ski with his Papa Jack and Gma Karen this winter. 

I can't believe that Zander is almost five years old!!  He continues to grow into a compassionate boy with the biggest heart I know.  He is such a loving big brother to Grayden and he is so excited to have another baby in the family!  Zander really enjoyed our pool this summer and playing with the neighborhood kids.  He has also really loved anything having to do with writing or art lately.  He has been really interested in learning to spell different names and words and it is so much fun to watch him as he learns. We have made the decision to switch him from my school childcare program to a preschool program in Hudsonville for the remainder of the year.  He is so excited to start school where the neighbor girls attend.  He has been going to speech therapy both at our local school as well as at a local outpatient center.  He is making great progress on some of his speech sounds and at his new school he will have the opportunity to work with the speech therapist there two times a week in addition to working with Ms. Juli (his other speech therapist).  

I had a great year in 2013.  Our new home has a pool, so Austin and I enjoyed hosting many get togethers this summer with friends and family.  It was so nice to basically vacation in our own backyard all summer!  We love our new neighborhood, but were a little sad when our closest neighbors moved at the end of the summer:( I continued with my Anat Baniel training and  will officially be done in early April of this year.  It has been an amazing learning experience these past three years, and I am looking so forward to sharing this work with other kids and their families in our area.  This January, the boys will be coming with me again to California with my mom, Robyn, and Jill.  It should be a great trip!  I am still loving my job at Ken-O-Sha and feel so very fortunate to have a career that I enjoy and where I have such great coworkers.  And lastly, I AM SO excited to meet our third little one!!  He or she will be arriving sometime in June of this year!!  

As for Austin, he continues to work for West Ottawa Public schools as the assistant food director.  He continues to learn about the job and we were lucky to go with him this summer on a family trip to Kansas City while he attended a school nutrition conference.  We had a great time exploring a new city, and going to places like Legoland, the Aquarium, and a Tigers vs. Royals baseball game.  He too, enjoyed hanging by the pool this summer and entertaining. He continues to be the chef for our family and has recently been creating and brewing his own beer. 

We wish all of you the happiest

of Holidays and a great NEW YEAR!!  

With Love,

Austin, Kelly, Zander and Grayden

Grayden is Three

Somehow overnight my baby turned three this week.  He has turned into such an adventurous, fun loving, silly, determined toddler.  Time really does fly by. Incredible how much I have learned and grown as a person in these last three years. Who knew such a small little guy could teach me such big life lessons? So thankful for this journey we are on and all the amazing people we have met because of it!

We spent Grayden's birthday at The University of Michigan at the Spina Bifida clinic. (I know,  mom of the year for scheduling appointments on your kids bday). I had been contemplating switching Gray's specialist to the U of M in hopes that they may be a little more progressive in their treatments and in their way of thinking. I was completely impressed with everyone we met and overall it was a great experience.  Lucky for us, the Urologist that we will be seeing, travels to Kalamazoo once a month so we will be able to see him there.   I definitely walked away feeling more understood and on the same page with the specialists we met there, so I am feeling very confident about our decision to switch.

Our family all chipped in and we bought Grayden a recumbent tag along bike for his birthday! It is awesome and I would highly recommend it. This will allow him to be a more active participant in family bike rides! We also were fortunate to get to buy one of our neighbors swing sets (considering we told Zander we would get him one for his birthday back in March). The boys have been having a blast playing on it together!

In other news, I have been running for the last eight weeks and will be running my first 5k since 8th grade this upcoming Saturday! I am excited and nervous all at the same time!

Don't forget The annual Stroll n' Roll is less than a month away. We would very much appreciate any support you would like to offer. We would love to have you join us as we walk with Grayden's Gang and continue to Redefine SB, or if you can't join us, any donation would also be very much appreciated. 

We would also like to invite any of Grayden's Gang to join us at our place following the walk for some football and food! Please let us know if you plan to come, either by phone, email or Facebook!

Who wouldn't want to come and have this much fun?? 

Calling all Grayden's Gang!

It's that time of year again! This year the West Michigan Spina Bifida Organization's annual Stroll n Roll will be held at The Frederick Meijer Gardens on October 19th. We would love for you to join us and walk in support of Grayden and all of his buddies as we raise awareness and continue to redefine Spina Bifida!

This past year Grayden was a scholarship recipient and received a 1000 dollar scholarship to be used towards our Anat Baniel Method lessons with the amazing Ms. Rene! The money raised by the Stroll n Roll is what made that possible.  There were also 9 other scholarships awarded to other kiddos who have Spina Bifida this year!

If you would like to join us for the walk and would like to purchase a Grayden's Gang shirt, please let me know no later than September 30. You can email me at kellygoff06@gmail.com or comment below. We would love for you to join us for the walk, but if you are unable to walk with us and would like to show your support you can donate to our team by clicking the we pay link at the top of my blog. Any amount helps!

The following link is the official link for the walk, which contains more specific details!

http://www.wmspinabifida.org/strollnroll/Home.html

You do not need to register, because I have registered our team just let me know if you plan to walk as I will need a final count for our team since lunch is provided following the walk.

We look forward to seeing you all on October 19th!

Forth of July Week

We spent a week in the UP again for the week of the Fourth of July. We had a great time enjoying family time and spending time outside relaxing, fishing, swimming, and taking boat rides. I just love to watch the boys and all of their excitement. I wish I could capture it in a jar and have it forever. They constantly remind me to appreciate the little things!

Kayaking with Papa Jack

Practicing casting their new fishing poles

Casting with papa and Uncle Kevin

Swinging in the hammock chair

Family time

Music in the park

Pedi and Mani

We hope you are all having a great summer!